FILIPINO VALUE: CLOSE FAMILY TIES

First of all, let me define values as written in the dictionary. Values are beliefs of a person or social group in which they have an emotional investment, or the quality that renders something desirable or valuable. Every value has its corresponding positive and negative aspect.

One of the many Filipino values which I wish to convey my thoughts about is Close Family Ties. Eversince I was a child, I have observed this value from my own kin. Advantages? Since family is the basic unit of society, first people to help us in times of need and difficulties are our family members and relatives, may it be financial or moral problems. And one more thing that we Filipinos are proud of is our love and gratitude for our elders who, whether were good or were cruel to us during our childhood years, on their old age, we keep them in our homes, feed them, bath them, and take good care of them. We do not just leave them on the nursing homes or send them away from home, or maltreat them, right? (I hope all of us Filipinos still do the same. For whatever you do unto others, will be done unto you.) When one receives misfortune, family members are ready to lend a helping hand. They are our protectors too against our detractors or critics whose eyes are just watching for our fall, for our mistakes.

Disadvantages? Some members abuse our kindness. We give them our hand, they want the best we have and won't stop asking until nothing is left to us. Out of 9 kindness you bestowed to them, with 1 mistake or failure to extend our help, they will burst their anger and call us selfish and proud, forgotten those times we have helped them and fed them. Makes us feel that they own everything we have coz' they are members of the family.

Another very good example I have observed, some parents consider their offsprings their wealth, someone who will lift them from poverty. Children who must earn a living for them when they grow old, to buy or build them a house and give them luxury in life which they weren't able to fulfill because of their own misfortunes. (Again, I'm talking not in general but for most Filipinos my dear readers.) Let me just remind you fellow Filipinos, that children are parents' responsibilities entrusted by God to them. It is not then the parents who are children's responsibility because they will have their own family too as their major responsibility. Now it's the discretion of the offspring how to show his love for his parents in ways he could. Not to work like a carabao for his own family and burden himself for his parents and siblings and relatives. Such a disgrace to foreign nationals! Why are most foreigners hate their betterhalf's Filipino families? One of the reasons is because family members abuse the kindness of the foreign husband/wife. They depend on the monetary assistance they get from the foreigners and consider that they will live a fabulous life to suffice their whims all throughout without considering that the couple have their own life too with their children to raise. Tendency, many Filipino women suffers emotional pain brought out by their selfish families and relatives who depend much from them, and at times get hurt too with their partner's complaints because they get sick and tired too of this Filipino value. We fear that our families and our relatives will hate us, will curse us, and consider us too proud, and so we get to embrace what we were taught to do, these Filipino values. Yet may I ask, are there any limits? Do we have to sacrifice and suffer just to please our members? Then what? Nothing left for us until we all are become vagabonds? (not being exaggerated but seeing all possibilities...) or worse, being divorce because foreign nationals can no longer live with this way of living, understanding the partner and his family. Then? Poor Filipinos...

But if we will all work hard for our own good, for our own immediate family, and will not depend on anyone, even from our siblings and parents... IF... then what a wonderful life a Filipino will have!

Wake up brethren! Wake up Filipino men whose wives are working overseas to support your needs and your children's needs while you guys in the Philippines are spending the money for non-sense alcoholic beverages, gambling, and women who are just after your money! Wake up Filipino women whose husbands are out there from different parts of the world working hard for your future and for your children's future while you are wasting the money they are sending you with all your vanities and your extravagant caprices. OPEN YOUR EYES AND YOUR MINDS... Filipinos whose lovedones are married to foreign nationals and yet still depending on their monetary support. Do not be abusive! If you do love them, feel for their needs too and the consideration that must be shown and be given to the foreign husband.

Let us not make use of this Filipino Value Close Family Ties an excuse for us to abuse the kindness of our family members. Stand on your own!

Spread the good news to everyone that not all Filipinos marrying a foreign national is just because they want to run away from poverty and let their families depend on their wealth, but because there is TRUE LOVE... An unconditional love which most men look for a wife to be their partner, their lover, and their friend.

Still, I'm proud to be a Filipino raised by a Filipino parents who value Close Family Ties more on the positive side and not on the negative aspect of it :) and I love my family... do you?